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MarzGurl Loves Don Bluth: Rock-a-Doodle
(Clips from the movie are shown) MarzGurl (vo): Oh, ''Rock-a-Doodle'', you've been discussed here on ThatGuywiththeGlasses before, but really, I don't think it's possible to have too many perspectives on this movie. I don't quite understand how this ended up being the mess that it is; it borrows elements from everything under the sun, and it's, like, it's trying to do too many things all at once. I mean, what even happened? How do you go from something as nearly perfect as... (Posters for ''All Dogs go to Heaven, Dragon's Lair II: Time Warp ''and ''Rock-a-Doodle ''are shown) MarzGurl (vo): ...''All Dogs go to Heaven'' to Dragon's Lair II: Time Warp and finally, to this? (More clips from the movie are shown) MarzGurl (vo): 'Now, let me make one thing perfectly clear, just like any of Bluth's previous animations, this movie oftentimes is quite pretty to look at. Bluth's style of animation frequently has some great free-drawn animals and uses rotoscoping to get other realistic movements of cars and humans down perfectly, though I don't believe there's any human animation to be found in this movie. But past that, there's really not a lot of positives to talk about when referencing ''Rock-a-Doodle. It's important to note that the movie is incredibly loosely based on a... (The book cover for ''Chantecler Play in Four Acts ''is shown) '''MarzGurl (vo): ...French play from the early 1900s called Chanticleer, which is the name of the leading rooster character in the movie. As far as I understand, it's supposed to be some kind of strange social commentary on gossip or something. (Clips from the movie are shown again) MarzGurl (vo): 'I don't really know, I haven't actually read it myself. But if it was supposed to be some kind of witty social commentary, ''Rock-a-Doodle certainly doesn't have that part of it transitioned over. On top of that, Don Bluth specifically wanted it to have some kind of live action/animation mix inspired by Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but what's the point? There's very little mix between the two in the course of the whole movie, and what little there is serves to add a total of nothing to the story. Meet Chanticleer, a rooster on a farm whose sole job is to crow every morning and bring out the sun. '''Chanticleer: (singing) Rock-a-Doodle, stay away, you big ol, big ol raincloud / I crow loud with this voice of mine! Narrator (Pattou): This is our rooster, Chanticleer, and though it was true that he- MarzGurl (vo): Wait wait, who's this guy and why is he talking over the song? Well, that's Pattou and he's a dog on the farm who's a side character, though you wouldn't know it, cause he's got the most lines in the whole movie, it seems. He talks enough to separate this thing into Rock-a-Doodle: The Audiobook. Get used to it cause he does it a lot. It bugs me so terribly much because he talks over everything, including the musical numbers, but not all the musical numbers, only the best ones. Now I'm not saying the songs are particularly good, but pretty much all of the best ones are talked over everytime, so you know, every one of Chanticleer's songs, all of which are sung by country music star Glen Campbell, the most qualified singer in the whole movie. And Pattou's narration adds absolutely nothing to the story. Pattou (vo): Hey, here's me tying my shoes. Chanticleer: Hi, Pattou, whatcha doing? Pattou: I'm trying to tie these doggone shoes. MarzGurl (vo): Can you imagine this in any other movie? Any movie you know going into it as a musical? Imagine sitting down to watch your favorite song in your favorite movie when suddenly, this happens. (Clips from ''Beauty and the Beast ''are shown) Baker: Morning, Belle! Belle: Morning, monsieur! Baker: Where are you off to? Belle: The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful story about a beanstalk and an ogre and- Baker: That's nice. Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up! Narrator (Joshua Saucedo): Now, that's Belle. Belle was the prettiest girl in her entire village and everybody knew this. The problem with that, though, Belle was real smart, as far as anybody in this town went. She loved to read more than all of them. She sure liked to read everyday, book after book after book. Reading. MarzGurl (vo): This doesn't just happen during the songs, but during other important plot elements in the movie. Pattou (vo): But all that was about to change. One morning before Chanticleer was even awake... Rooster: Hey, Chanticleer! Pattou (vo): A stranger snuck onto our farm to stop Chanticleer from crowing. Of course, Chanticleer wouldn't give up without a fight, but what he didn't know was that the stranger had been sent by the Grand Duke of Owls, a nasty fella. MarzGurl (vo): It's completely unnecessary. I have an idea, why don't you let the movie show you this information, like it's about to do, anyway rather than tell me about it. (A clip from ''Shrek is shown'') Narrator: Now all of Shrek's plans were about to change, and this was all gonna be because of this guy, Lord Farquaad. Farquaad was a nasty, evil man, very evil and powerful, but also incredibly short. Farquaad would use any means to find out how to become king, even torture the Gingerbread Man, at least until he was ready to talk. Now Farquaad was gonna play with his legs right here for a second, and he'll need somebody to lower down the table more, which is in the way. That's better. MarzGurl (vo): We're introduced to this boy named Edmond. Oh, how ironic, that just happens to be the name of the guy who wrote the original Chanticleer, only he looked a little like this. (shows picture of the author, Edmond Rostand) Huh, you know, I'm kinda wishing that our Edmond had that amazing mustache throughout the movie. His mom reads him the story of Chanticleer up until this point, when suddenly, the dad busts in and saying he needs help from the family to protect the farm and the house from an incoming flood. Edmond immediately assumes that this is because Chanticleer isn't there to crow and bring up the sun. But there are two flaws with this; one: it just happens to be nighttime, it's barely been night, it's night just like it's night every night. How do you know the sun's not going to come up? And two: why didn't you read to the end of the book? You just stopped reading about a fourth of the way through the book and didn't even bother to find out whether or not Chanticleer comes back, and it isn't like the rest of the pages in the book are blank, you just didn't bother to check. So the kid calls for Chanticleer, which instead calls the Duke of Owls, who happens to look exactly like the owl from Secret of NIMH. He hates the light, which is why he wants to be permanently rid of Chanticleer. We find out here that the Owl has magic breath that can turn live action film into animation and can turn real life boys into animated kittens. So let me get this straight, the Owl is magic. Well, in that case, why didn't he just get rid of Chanticleer permanently with his magic? Wouldn't that have been a lot easier? There's a whole, huge colorful side cast of characters, including our narrator, Pattou, a dog who can't tie his shoes, and a magpie (Snipes) voiced by Mandark from Dexter's Lab (''Eddie Deezen). '''Snipes:' Magpies are just made for the city! C'mon already, hurry it up! Peepers: We're not looking for the city, we're looking for Chanticleer. MarzGurl (vo): Frankly, I think there's too many side characters, too much off the wall craziness, and not enough character development. The most character development we get is out of Pattou's struggle with his shoes throughout the movie, and that's just pathetic. The characters all ride in a box down through flood waters to find Chanticleer. You know, they ask Edmond to get them all there, but Edmond is how old, five? Does he really know how to get to the city from the farm through a flood? All the while, the Duke sends his nephew, Hunch out after them voiced by Charles Nelson Riley, who, no, did not actually voice the cockroach in An American Tail, that's my mistake, but he does show up in other Don Bluth movies, essentially playing the same role. Hunch: Guess what I just saw? Pattou the dog floating in a toy box down the river, and he has this cute, little, white kitty with him. MarzGurl (vo): The character is so ridiculously eccentric that it somehow surpasses just how eccentric the rest of the movie is. Turns out Chanticleer is here in the city, an Elvis-like superstar who had changed his name to the King. Of course, all his music is completely narrated over by Pattou. Pattou (vo): But not everybody liked The King. MarzGurl (vo): And yet, all this other awful music by the Duke's owls and the King's group of bouncers played by the Battletoads all has to be listened to all the way through without interruption. I only wish Pattou would come in and start talking now. Bouncers: (singing) Try, you won't get very far / We'll bounce you once, bounce you twice / if you get out of line, we're not very nice / We'll bounce, bounce you all over the place / Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce! MarzGurl (vo): On top of that, we're introduced to Goldie, a chorus girl who's jealous of Chanticleer's fame and is sick of being nothing more than a chorus girl, yet we never once see her perform in a chorus nor do we ever see another chorus girl other than her. Her boss, Pinky has ties to the Duke of Owls and has Goldie pretend to fall in love with the King to keep him happy and stay in the city. Pattou (vo): There was just one problem with her plan, of course: Goldie was only supposed to pretend to fall in love with Chanticleer. But she was falling in love for real. MarzGurl (vo; woodenly): Thanks, Pattou, what would we do without you? But again, let me get this straight, so the Owl is magic. Why doesn't he just magic his problems away rather than going through the hassle of working with Pinky to keep Chanticleer in the city? Tons of ridiculous hijinks ensue. Edmond and the other animals get Chanticleer back to the farm, and now, here we are at the end of the movie, with Chanticleer overlooking the flooded, overcast farm. Chanticleer: Huh, what's happened? Peepers: '''There's no time to explain! '''Pattou: Chanticleer, you gotta crow and you gotta crow now! Edmond: '''The owls could be here any second! '''Chanticleer: Uh, who are you? Peepers: He's a friend. MarzGurl (vo): Good question, why should Chanticleer care about anything Edmond has to say? He's never met him a day in his life. Chanticleer: Oh, but look! (inhales and tries to crow, but it sounds weak) Snipes: Uh-oh. Chanticleer: Ah, guys, it's no use. All I do now is sing the blues. MarzGurl (vo): What? Why? It was never established previously that you couldn't crow. You were singing just fine earlier, and singing was pretty much the equivalent of crowing earlier in the movie, wasn't it? I don't get it. Wait, is it really still nighttime, and if it is, how long has it been nighttime? If I didn't know any better, I'd say the whole movie took place in a single night. Edmond: It's your job to bring up the sun. Peepers: It hasn't shined since you left! MarzGurl (vo): That's because it's only been one day! It's also raining! That's not the same thing as the sun not coming up. And that's another thing, why doesn't the Owl just want it to be nighttime all the time, anyway? I get that they're nocturnal, but they have to sleep at some point, too, right? Or do they just want the ability to come out even though it's 3:00 in the afternoon if they want? Also, wait, Duke gave Hunch a pair of sunglasses to go into the city so that he didn't go blind. If the owls want to come out during the day so bad, why don't they all just buy a whole bunch of sunglasses? Anyway, Edmond starts doing this whole "power of friendship" sort of thing. Edmond: C'mon, you guys! Show him we believe! Duke: I told you to be quiet! Edmond: Chanticleer, Chanticleer, Chanticleer, Chanticleer! MarzGurl (vo): '''He gets himself choked by magic. Rather than using his magic to destroy Chanticleer right then and there, he just turns into a barely threatening tornado, giving Chanticleer enough time to figure out how to get his crow back and defeat Duke. I'm not sure how this works, but it makes the Duke turn tiny and powerless. What, does the Duke not have magic anymore? Can he not magic himself back to full size? I don't get it. '''Pattou (vo): Well, our journey had finally come to an end. Ol' Chanticleer was back to stay, the sun came up, the rain stopped and the owls were gone for good. Everything seemed to be turning out just fine, except for one thing: Edmond. We just didn't know how to help him. MarzGurl (vo): God, Pattou, are you still talking?! I'm pretty sure the audience can figure this out! Can you imagine other movies having this much narration? (A clip from Ghostbusters is shown) Narrator: Our journey was at an end. Gozer was sent back to wherever she came from, the statue of Marshmallow Man had been melted, and New York looked like it was gonna have a good day after all. Everything was finally gonna be okay. Everything except...Dana Barrett. We just didn't know how to help her, what with her being turned into a stone dog creature and how she'd been fried like she was left in the microwave about thirty seconds too long. MarzGurl (vo): The ending is a big moment of "I have no idea what just happened", because Edmond just wakes up, the rain has stopped and the sun is up. So he slept through the night, the one perfectly normal aside from being a bit rainy night. So, did it really happen? Was it all in the book? Was it a dream? I don't know; suddenly, Edmond jumps into the book or something, I don't know, he's just suddenly in the cartoon again for no good reason, and everybody treats Edmond like he saved the day when in the grand scheme of things, he really didn't do much of anything. I don't know, in personal opinion, this is the worst of Bluth's movies, and I don't think I'm the only person who thinks this, either. One look at Rotten Tomatoes shows a pretty large chunk of people dissatisfied with the movie. It's just all over the place, with tons of plot holes, particularly bad music, and the only music that wasn't bad was continuously narrated over. There's too much narration happening and not enough of the movie itself simply showing us what the exposition is. A movie is a visual medium; if a visual medium is incapable of telling us what's going on through its visuals alone, then it's failed as a piece of visual art. But that's the thing, I'm sure the movie could've sufficed for the most part on visuals alone without the assistance of Pattou's exposition. In the end, it's a little over an hour of cluttered mess, and when so much else of Bluth's work is so good, this movie is a real disappointment. (Credits are shown) Category:Content Category:Transcripts Category:Marzgurl Presents